Art of Anger Management

Is Anger really overwhelming all consuming emotion that almost all experience and seem to feel powerless against it

-Dr Sunita Patel

Quote: “Just do one thing new – which you have never done; every time you get involved with it, fighting. This time just watch, as if it does not belong to you, as if it is somebody else’s anger. And you are in for a great surprise: it will disappear within seconds.” – Osho

Anger is an overwhelming all consuming emotion that almost all experience and seem to feel powerless against it, as if it takes away all the reasoning, logic and understanding and leaves one so vulnerable to the stimulus. At the same time one cannot ignore the fact that when it comes, it is not going to kill me. It has been with me many times before, and I have survived perfectly well. Anger is powerful energy and an attempt to suppress, repress, destroy will boomerang and inflict harm to self and too much of outwardly expression will exhaust the inner energy resource leaving you vulnerable to number of diseases and ailments. So here are few tips to learn to survive the tide and ride on it….

Watch:
If you can watch, without getting involved, as if it is something on the screen of a movie house or of a TV screen, something is passing; watch it. You are not supposed to do anything to prevent or to destroy it. And you will be surprised: that which was looking very big, becomes very small. But our habit is to exaggerate. Our minds are very exaggerating

Think:
Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Remind yourself that anger won’t fix anything and might only make it worse.

Focus on your feelings and stick to I statements:
While communicating instead of saying to the opposite person that he or she is wrong, convey what you felt like – “I was hurt”, and leave a scope for open communication rather than putting the other person in defence and escalating or not resolving the issue.

Cultivate your own relaxation skills:
When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. It could be deep-breathing exercises, listening to music, playing an instrument, painting, swimming, going for a walk.

Know when to seek help:
Learning to control anger is a challenge for everyone at times. Seek help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts those around you. The goal, it seems to me, isn’t to eliminate anger but to control it; not to suppress it but to create value with it.

 

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