In this entire week I felt divided in two parts – half going towards the unknown and half towards all that is familiar from my past.
Actually I had to shift the house and I was shattered with the idea of leaving the place where I lived for more than six years. It’s not only about the house but the people. We get emotionally attached to the people we laugh and cry with and so as I am. We believe all this is ours and when we get close to letting go of what we believe is ours, we panic – even though we yearn to go to the place of the unknown. I was in a dilemma between the thought of leaving the place I much-loved and accepting a new place completely unknown. I reached to the state of crying and consoling myself at the same time– this is another thing you learn when you stay away from your family and few close friends. In the process when I was reassuring myself I realized that I am lacking the courage in me, the courage of accepting changes, I was afraid and so dependent on the people and the place I lived and that made me weak. However, I realized that the real question was not of courage; the real question was that I did not understand that the known is dead, and the unknown is living. I am sharing my realization of what all I have gone through in the entire week in a complete abducting mind game.
Clinging to the known is clinging to a corps. It does not need courage to drop the clinging; in fact it needs courage to go on clinging to a corpse- we just need to see that which is familiar to us. Which we have lived, what has it given? Where have we reached? Are we not still empty? Is there not immense disconnect, a deep frustration and meaninglessness? Somehow we go on managing, hiding the truth and creating lies to remain engaged, involved.
I realized that these questions will remain tomorrow and day after tomorrow and till my last breath. So the question is not only of courage. It is a question of clarity, of being clear about what actually we are going through what we think is ours and we are attached to. As far as courage is concerned nobody can give us that. It is something that we are born with, we just do not allow it to grow, because of our inner conflicts, our inner is crowd of sheep, and it does not allow us to be a lion. And then we have enslaved ourselves, we exploit ourselves; we control our mind and soul. Our thoughts order and we obey. We are not free individuals.
In fact we want ourselves to be cowards but we do not say that – Instead we use a beautiful word ‘cautious’. And in this cautiousness we miss the fun that the new has for us. We do not want to leave our comfort we are scared to try new; we are scared to accept new challenges that life has for us. We are cowards to say that we are attached to the house or to the people for say. The truth is that we are so comfortable with our present life that we are scared to work for more and work for new.
We need to realize that courage in us, the intelligence in us, and the truth in us. We have to go nowhere. It is all within us. It is so simple if we see it: the only way to come out of any challenge of life is to live on our own. It is an independent phenomenon, it is independence, it is freedom. Believe in ourselves is important, challenging the life is important So that the life can welcome us with new fun. Do not compromise because we are comfortable. Rather than compromising, find grounding, roots, individuality. Find a sincerity of feeling, the support of your heart. Then whatever the consequence, it does not matter.
“Never try to settle anywhere. To be settled is to die: It is premature death” – Friedrich Nietzsche